I’ve been thinking about how I describe myself.  The words I’ve used, the apologies preceding them.  “I’m sorry, I’m behaving like a toddler.”  “I was very gauche when I went to university, really immature for my age.”  “I know this is stupid…I know I am stupid, but…”

What if I’m not behaving like a toddler, or being stupid, I’m just autistic?  A lifetime of bad words, derogatory words, apologies to myself and others because I am rubbish at being a human being, when really I am not rubbish at all, just different?


There’s so many layers to this.  I am losing myself in them.  Not that I even know who I am.


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