I’ve been thinking about how I describe myself. The words I’ve used, the apologies preceding them. “I’m sorry, I’m behaving like a toddler.” “I was very gauche when I went to university, really immature for my age.” “I know this is stupid…I know I am stupid, but…”
What if I’m not behaving like a toddler, or being stupid, I’m just autistic? A lifetime of bad words, derogatory words, apologies to myself and others because I am rubbish at being a human being, when really I am not rubbish at all, just different?
There’s so many layers to this. I am losing myself in them. Not that I even know who I am.